Despondent Solitude
by JereduLevenin
Summary: Post CoM. Zemyx and Xigdem. With Zexion gone, who's going to pick up the pieces? Just because you don't have a heart, that doesn't mean it can't be broken. But, it can be mended. One shot for now, unless you want me to continue it.


Despondent Solitude

Demyx's heart was in his throat as he ran through Castle Oblivion, his footsteps echoing hollowly in the empty hallway. He was panting heavily as he tried to suppress the panic rising in his chest.

_They're lying. It's not true. It's NOT TRUE. _

But the hollow feeling in his chest told him otherwise. He blinked the tears out of his eyes and slowed down as he came to his destination. Carefully, he raised a trembling hand to tap lightly on the door to Number VI's room. The door creaked open at the gentle touch.

"Zexion…?"

But he received no answer. The room was empty.

Biting back a scream, he whirled around and ran to the nearest stairwell. He began to go down, down, down into the bowels of the Castle, to where the scream had come from. The dark basement floors. The source of the ominous shudder that had torn through the Castle minutes ago.

The source of the **stench**.

Death.

Demyx HATED that smell. It clung to one's skin like a dank, heavy fog that haunted your footsteps until it either drove you mad or led you to a nightmare drenched in blood that you think you'll never wake from and it gets in your head and you can't stop SCREAMING! Demyx bit back a sob as he came to another landing and ran still downwards. Silently, he began to chant the other's name in a mantra, over and over again in his head.

_Zexion… Zexion… Zexion… Zexion… Zexion… __Zexion… Zexion… Zexion!!!! _

"ZEXION!!!!!!"

He didn't realize that he had screamed until he heard the name echo in the empty room. Empty. He thought he could still hear the whispers of the last thing that had transpired here.

The room stank of death. And darkness.

And ashes. Number VIII.

But the room was empty. Like the room many floors above would remain.

Zexion was dead.

Demyx screamed.

Outside the Castle, the rain began to pour.

One month later… Xigbar groaned as he stepped out of a portal. This last mission had left him unspeakably ravenous, and thirsty to boot! Maybe there was still some food in the dining hall. He snapped his fingers and opened another portal. He stepped through and carefully pushed the dining hall door open. Hn. Deserted. He grinned to himself and sauntered over to the kitchen to steal a cupcake. Surely Xaldin wouldn't notice. He could always tell him that Axel or Lexaeus had eaten it. He snatched his prize and took a bite out of the pilfered pastry, glancing casually over his shoulder to make sure that he hadn't been caught in the act. 

Oh, crap. The Superior. Xemnas was standing in the far end of the dining hall, looking the other way.

Luckily, he hadn't been spotted, yet. He shoved the rest of the cupcake in his mouth and tiptoed silently toward the door…

"Number II!"

At Xemnas's barked address, Xigbar leapt several feet into the air and… stayed there.

"Mmph?" Xigbar winced as a shower of crumbs fell to the floor below.

Xemnas walked over and frowned up at the scarred Freeshooter.

"Whatever are you doing up there, Number II? Come down at once! I want to speak with YOU, not your size ten boots!"

Xigbar gave a sheepish shrug and touched down softly. Xemnas nodded shortly and fixed Xigbar with his lurid orange gaze.

"For some reason, everybody seems to be avoiding me. But, now that I HAVE your attention, I will pose the question I have been meaning to ask one of you. WHERE is Number IX? I have not seen him in quite some time. I need him to go to Atlantica and keep the Heartless in check!"

Xigbar winced, this time in sympathy for the absent sitarist. "With all due respect, Superior, he's been holed up in 'is room ever since the incident with the rebellion Number XI started. I think it has something to do with Number VI's dea- destruction," Xigbar quickly corrected himself. Xemnas was adamant that they not start behaving as if they had hearts. Nobodies didn't die. They were destroyed. "I haven't seen 'im. He only comes out to grab a sandwich in the dead o' night when he gets too hungry to mope. He's locked the door to his room, an' he tells anyone who approaches to leave 'im alone…"

Xemnas nodded. It made sense, after all. "Ah. That's right. As I recall, Number IX was rather attached to Number VI. He made an unsightly scene after Number VI's destruction, and acted as though he were distraught."

Xigbar grimaced at Xemnas's wording. Demyx wasn't acting. He truly had been grief-stricken. "With all due respect, Superior, I think he really WAS distraught. Number VI was his only real friend. He and Number VIII used to be somewhat friendly, but after the incident, Number IX began to act extremely cold to Number VIII. If he had a heart, I'd call it outright hatred, Superior."

Xemnas responded with a wave of his hand. "Yes, yes. Number II, I have a new assignment for you. I want you to speak with Number IX and inform him that if he does not pull his act together, I will become vexed with him. Do what you must; pull him out of this stupor he has fallen into. I need him to go to Atlantica. As a member of Organization XIII, he is required to pull his share of the weight, especially now that nearly half of our members have been eliminated. Go. Blast his door down if you must. I believe you are the most likely to be able to evoke a response out of him."

Xigbar nodded quickly before vacating the dining hall as quickly as his dignity would allow.

Xemnas frowned as he went back to his previous activity. "Now, then… WHERE did Xaldin put those cupcakes…?" Xemnas had been smelling them bake all morning…

/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/

Xigbar sighed before knocking on Demyx's door. This would undoubtedly be an unpleasant conversation. "Demyx. Open up. It's Xigbar."

"Go 'way!"

Xigbar shook his head silently before trying again. "Demyx, come on! It's important! We need your help! Do you REALLY wanna tick Xemnas off?"

"I don't care!" Came the muffled reply. Obviously, this wasn't going to be as easy as he'd hoped. He decided to try a different approach.

"Look, Demyx… I… Just because Zexion is gone doesn't mean that there isn't anyone else who cares about you." Xigbar gave a mental groan. That had NOT come out right. He'd meant to say that he was important to them as a member… that Demyx mattered, and they all cared whether or not he was okay… but it came out sounding sappy, and he couldn't take it back without destroying the progress he'd made… Crap.

Xigbar thumped his head against the door, and then frowned as he heard muffled footsteps. He stepped back as Demyx opened the door a crack. Just enough that Xigbar could see one cerulean eye, puffy and red from prolonged crying.

"…What? What did you say?"

Xigbar shut his eyes before gritting out, "I said that just because Zexion is gone doesn't mean that there isn't anyone else who cares about you, Demyx."

Demyx's eyes widened at the statement. He didn't know Xigbar was capable of showing any emotion other than cruelty. Xigbar sighed and continued in a less forced tone.

"Look, Dem. I ain't telling you to forget about Zexion or to get over it, 'cause it ain't gonna happen. I can tell that much. But you're wastin' away in your room insteadda' living! I don't think Zexion woulda' wanted that! He and I were pretty good friends, too! Or didn't you know that?"

Xigbar surmised that Demyx had NOT known that, based on his shocked expression. Although, Demyx didn't really know much about the relationships the original six had had before the younger members had joined. Xigbar and Zexion had been in the Organization a LOT longer than Demyx had. And, now that he thought about it, he DID remember getting a little jealous when he saw how "buddy-buddy" Xigbar was acting toward Zexion… and Zexion wasn't pushing him away or blowing him off like he would have with anyone else, save Demyx himself. Huh. He'd never really noticed. Even when Xigbar was hanging all over Zexion, he'd just dismissed it as Xigbar trying to taunt him. He'd never guessed that there might actually be any other reason. He opened the door wider, meeting Xigbar's saffron gaze with a new understanding.

"I… guess… you must have been sad, too… when… Zexion…" Demyx trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

Xigbar lowered his eyes, and, for an instant, all the walls came down. Demyx saw such incredible pain and tiredness behind the golden eye. Sorrow. Xigbar was hurting as much as he was. Maybe more, because he had let Zexion go. Had given him up for Zexion's and Demyx's happiness, at the cost of his own. Demyx opened the door all the way and let Xigbar in.

Xigbar gave Demyx what was really the first REAL smile the Nocturne had ever seen on the Freeshooter's face. Demyx sat on the edge of his waterbed as Xigbar continued.

"I… I don't… Yeah. It hurts. A lot. Zexion was really the only one I could talk to. 'Course, he didn't really talk BACK, but… he listened. He… was close to Lexaeus, too. I know. But not like he was with you. Still, when that Riku brat killed Lex, I think Zex was hurtin' same as you an' me. They weren't as close as we were to him, but Eleaus and Ienzo had something, I think. I dunno. But I think Zex mighta' fought harder if Lex hadn't died just an hour or so before… Did you ever hear how it happened? Axel didn't really do him in, but it WAS his fault," Xigbar relented. He never really DID like Axel, but that had cinched it. Axel was the target of all his loathing, thanks to his string-pulling that had gotten Zexion killed. Not only that, but Axel had ENCOURAGED the little faker.

Demyx shook his head. He'd not talked to anybody at length after the incident. "Tell me."

Xigbar closed his eyes in pain. "It was after Zexion attempted to apprehend that intruder. Riku. He lost the fight, and he came back to the basement. Axel met him there with the Riku replica. Axel told the replica it could get stronger by taking Zexion's power as its own, or some crap like that. The clone up and kills him. Sucks him dry like a leech. I could hear Zexion's screams all the way from my room. And then… they just stopped, and it was over.

"I dunno. Riku killed the clone, though. And I beat the crap out of Axel the next time I saw him. I haven't seen him lately. Jerk is probably plotting behind our backs again to get his little boytoy back out of the Keyblade Brat. I hope the kid finishes him off…" Xigbar glowered at the thought of the redheaded pyromancer, golden eye hooded as his thoughts turned inward once again. Demyx scooted over and patted the empty space next to him, inviting Xigbar to sit down.

Xigbar hesitated before finally joining the blonde on the shifting waterbed. He spoke again.

"Look, Dem. Xemnas sent me about something or other he wants you to do in Atlantica about the Heartless, but I've been meaning to talk to you for a while now. It's not right, the way you just lock yourself up in here and shut us all out. The others may be cold, but they still care if you're all right, you know? And I… maybe I wanna…"

"…Share the pain? Yeah… I guess I can do that." Demyx cast his cobalt gaze to the ground, tears welling up once again. Xigbar simply gazed at the blonde for a moment, indecision clear in his face. Finally, he sighed and placed a rough hand on the younger Nobody's shoulder.

"Dem…"

Demyx sniffled for a moment before turning to look at the scarred man. He squeaked as he was suddenly pulled into a tight hug against the other man's chest. Xigbar shuddered and buried his face in the smaller Nobody's shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, kid." Demyx gazed upwards at the haggard face in wonderment. His eyes grew as wide as saucers as he felt a dampness on his cheek.

Xigbar was weeping.

Demyx was fairly certain that this was something Xigbar hadn't done in a VERY long time. HE'D certainly never seen the other Nobody in such an open, broken state. Perhaps… perhaps it was because he had never been able to drop the façade. He was forced to keep the walls up behind the cold mask he had been forced to carry as familiarity dictated. The aloofness was a front put up because it was expected of him. Because, without Zexion's presence, he had no one to turn to. No one to trust. Unable to open up, he kept everything bottled inside until it soured him. Zexion had changed that, but only behind the masks. To the outside world, nothing had changed. And after the incident, the pain could only swell up until it consumed him utterly. He probably hadn't had the chance to let it out even after Zexion's…

Demyx sighed as he wrapped his arms around the Freeshooter, squeezing him tightly as he returned the hug. For a moment, they both held on as though to a lifeline.

"Xigbar?"

The Freeshooter blinked, pulling away from the blonde.

"Yeah?"

"…Thanks."

Owari?

R&R, please! Let me know whether or not I should continue this.


End file.
